I was going through social media today and I came across this picture of 2 skeletons. They must have been men, sitting to a mug of beer when they said, “we will sit here till we understand what women want”. And it would appear they sat there till their flesh wore out and all that remained were skeletons. Is it really that difficult to understand what women want? Yes, I agree women can be complicated and difficult, emotional and sentimental but that only interferes with interactions with women. It doesn’t mean you can’t decipher or you truly don’t know what women want. Most men are just not patient enough to really listen to the inner woman or have the time to satisfy her expectations.
Another picture that got me wondering is the huge encyclopedia on Understanding Women. Seriously! Men, you need not look beyond your eyes or ears. There is truth in simplicity and answers in demeanor, if only you really care to know.
I don’t know what all women want but I can tell you to a large extent that all women want:
1. Respect – Some people say they don’t understand how respect is still as high up as a rule for me, after children. I tell them I am not defined by being a mother or a wife, I am first and foremost an individual and an individual with responsibilities and super powers 😉 . I give respect to everyone and expect respect back. That’s my number one banner.
Basically, women just want you to show through your actions that you respect our opinions, careers, interests, friends, bodies and minds. You don’t have to agree with all that we say or do, but try to honor our opinions as valuable contributions. Nothing shuts a woman down faster than disrespecting her.
2. Engagement – I’m not proud of it but I find that I tend to worry a lot naturally. I worry about the economy, I worry about finances, I worry about tomorrow, and I worry about achieving purpose. To whom much is expected … I did say I had super powers anyway so I have the mandate to keep up. So I appreciate constant communication and planning with key stakeholders in my life.
Point to note, women are vocal creatures. We can also be insecure. Communicate with us often, especially when we’re doing something right. Let’s sit and forecast together. The joy of us is in a better tomorrow together anyway. Tell us we’re beautiful too, it further builds our confidence. Words of appreciation aren’t half-bad either.
3. Quality Time & Romance – I don’t blame men who think women are just about money and shopping. Don’t get me wrong, I love money and shopping too but for a woman of substance and class, quality time and romance is a better option any day. And yes, we love sex too. But be careful to remember that there are four bases to cover in the bedroom, not just one. Try stopping at each base instead of being so focused on the home run—believe us, we’ll thank you for it!
In truth, women want some romance. Even the nerdy bookworm. Light a few candles and see where the night leads. Treat us like your girlfriend, even after we become a wife. Date nights, kissing like when we first loved – those things don’t have to stop just because now there are bills to pay, a house to be cleaned, and kids that need to get bathed
4. Humor and Humility – These two tend to go hand in hand. I’ll tell you how. It always doesn’t mean that you have to crack jokes or entertain us alone, but just being able to laugh at yourself is enough. Guys who take themselves too seriously bring everyone down. And ditch the pride. It always comes before a fall anyway. You don’t want to achieve everything and loose the things that matter most.
Point to note, women appreciate men who aren’t afraid to be vulnerable some time, not all the time.
5. Consistency – I was telling a friend of mine a few days ago that every relationship goes through phases. I’m yet to name those phases but I’ll to expatiate in another post. But the turn of a new love is different from after one or two hangouts and even worse after full intimacy. I don’t understand how men figure this method of taking advantage of someone they once saw as unobtainable is now the way forward. Guys, seriously, what’s the difficulty in being consistent? I’m not talking of being boring or predictable but consistent. It means that we expect you to continue to give us the love and support we need, the love and support you were once eager to give.
Basically, women appreciate dependability and stability in their lives, for planning and forecasting too, of course.
Women in the house, please feel free to add any other criteria to the list.