Staying Friends With Your Ex: Yay or Nay?

For weird reasons, I don’t have issues being friends with an ex

staying friends with an ex

There’s a lot of debate about whether it’s a good idea to be friends with your ex or how you should behave around your ex or if it’s wise at all to be in touch with an ex. According to Psychologists, staying friends with your ex is the worst idea ever. If your relationship ended due to infidelity, abuse, jealousy or trust issues, remaining friends is almost impossible obviously.

For weird reasons, I don’t have issues being friends with an ex and I’m no psychopath. If we could be friends enough to date, why can’t we be friends after the effect of the breakup has worn out? Just asking.

Of course, I don’t appreciate the “let’s be friends” or “I think we’re better off as friends” conservation, but if we happen to bump into each other in a totally harmless environment or circumstances, I don’t see why I need to act like I don’t know you or be hostile when you say hello. Or maybe I’m just not seeing it the way most people would because I haven’t had an ‘ex’ experience gone bad. Once we both understand and know where to draw the line, I don’t see why we can’t be friends. I love to give respect and space and love to get it in return. Once that’s done, that’s all the criteria I need to keep friends.

Perhaps I may lend a few tips to anyone out there struggling with whether or not to be friends with an ex. You can determine whether or not you are ready to be friends with your ex and how to go about establishing a platonic friendship with him or her when you’re done reading this.

  1. Be sure you are really interested in a platonic relationship and not with any hopes of getting back together. Otherwise, everything act of friendship then becomes a gesture to getting back together.
  2. Be sure you have spent enough time apart and your friendship isn’t a deliberate calculation to getting back together. If the breakup is still fresh with all the memories and hurt from the breakup, of course don’t fool yourself. There’s no way you can be in a platonic relationship (friendship) with your ex under the circumstance.
  3. Don’t be too expectant in your new friendship. For instance, just because it’s easy for you and you want to be friends with your ex does not mean they feel the same way and if they don’t mind being friends, you shouldn’t expect the same sweet treatment. That part of you guys became over when you broke up.
  4. Be friendly, but not flirtatious. While you want to be nice to your ex, try not to be overly flirtatious or suggestive.
  5. Exes are not a comfort zone. You can’t go back to them for sex or expect to fall back to the same pattern just because your present relationship or whatever else isn’t working well for you.

This kind of reminds me of a song by Nosa, I go always pray for you. Even when you’re exes, there’s absolutely no need to be ill-tempered or strangers towards one another.

Anyone correct me if my thinking is totally bizarre.

Written by Buki Alamu

Writing is my passion. It's the best way I know to express myself and pass across my learning in life and of life. By writing, I hope to create awareness, bring inspiration and encouragement and change the world, making it a better place from everyone. I blog at www.itsallbuki.com

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